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The Cleverness of Magpies

Some years ago I used to work as an engineer in a delightful business park adjoining the Dunton site on the outskirts of Basildon. On the way to work I used to travel on a winding country lane. I noticed that a group of magpies had developed the knack of eating road-kill in spite of the passing cars. I marvelled at how one of them would take advantage of a gap in the traffic, hop onto their target, grab a few bits, and then hop back onto the verge at the last possible moment, avoiding the fate that had befallen their meal. If, when I got there, the gap was too small they would simply wait. I couldn’t help thinking that no cat could do that, and marvelled that a creature with such a small brain could be so smart. Since they all looked alike I wondered if it was the same one each time or if they took turns. If so – how clever is that!

However, one afternoon in the office someone shouted ‘come and look this’. I found myself looking out of the window at one of the many beautiful oak trees we overlooked. (Yes, I said it was delightful there!) There I saw a magpie hunting down a squirrel. The magpie was going hammer and tongs, both flying and hopping, darting between branches while the squirrel performed herculean feats of ducking and diving to avoid getting pecked.

The squirrel then worked its way into a thick outgrowth of ivy. Undaunted, the Magpie dived straight in. The ivy leaves moved around frantically and a few feathers appeared. Shortly afterwards out came the Magpie, battered and bent and flew rather uncertainly to a different branch where it sat for a while preening itself. Soon the squirrel reappeared looking none the worse for wear. The magpie took off immediately.

Now what, you may well ask, made me remember that!

Well, recently I got onto the train and picked up a “Metro” newspaper that had been lying on the seat, open on page 4, and saw a picture featuring our new Prime Minister. For some unfathomable reason I remembered the magpie episode …

The picture was captioned ‘United: Mrs May with Barack Obama’. That would be Barack, back-of-the-line, Obama I thought, so I began to read.

The article was headlined ‘PM: We still want to tackle climate crisis’. I thought to myself that while not everyone agrees on whether carbon dioxide causes warming or not, most are aware that since temperatures have not risen for 17 years and the icecaps did not melt by the year 2000 as predicted by Al Gore, and if anything, the one on the bottom is growing rather ominously, there is obviously no crisis …

The article went on to report Mrs. May, who supported remain and presumably voted for it, as saying that we who voted for Leave ‘did not vote to turn inwards or walk away’. Funny, I didn’t think anything of the kind! In fact, I voted Leave so the UK could turn outwards and trade with the whole world and especially the Commonwealth, something the EU is still stridently trying to stop us from doing. As far as ‘walk away’ is concerned, it is obvious to any Leave voter that the UK should continue to trade with the EU or, if it doesn’t survive, the European Countries – but not on a cap-in-hand basis as an EU colony!

Her comments on globalisation left me with little confidence that she was against it. Her convoluted comment about ‘ensuring a controlled international migration response’ and ‘we can reject isolationism and xenophobia’ left me with a strong feeling of Mayphobia.

As a one-time immigrant myself I cannot accept either of her labels. What I can accept is that immigrants are, as I was, carefully selected by the UK government alone without any outside interference, ensuring that, like me, they have a job to go to when they get here, as is right and proper for any self-respecting, sovereign, independent country that cares first and foremost about the wellbeing of its own citizens.

So perhaps we at UKIP should not fret too much about Mrs. May picking up our policies because it appears that when she does she doesn’t know what to do with them.

They may be clever – but Magpies should watch out for squirrels …!

Photo by milesmilob

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9 Comments on The Cleverness of Magpies

  1. Thank you Michael,

    I think I may be able to tell straight away if they are recent foreigners by the way they are dressed, if you get my meaning. But anyway, it will certainly be interesting as I am leafleting with a young American, so they are going to be doubly confused or horrified. Probably both.

  2. Thank you Michael,

    I feel inspired now, where did you come from and can you say more stuff like that. I am going to go out there and knock ‘hells bells out of them, there is just one problem, I think a lot of these people may be foreign so how do I make them understand before they beat me up!

    • Well speaking as a one-time immigrant myself (I arrived from South Africa in 2000) I came here to escape the 3rd world. I know where we’re going if we don’t stop the rot. That’s why I’m a very motivated kipper. The accent will normally tell you if they were born here or not. If they’re recent arrivals start with ‘what part of the world are you from?’ (Make up you’re own question, make it as innocuous as possible.) What made you leave? Then turn the discussion round to keeping the UK a nice place to live in. It takes time to change minds and most will only give you a minute or two so don’t hang about (unless they want you to.) But try to leave with them thinking. If you think of a refinement or different approach please comment. Learning is a two-way street. Just a last though, tell ’em we welcome votes from anyone! Oh, if all else fails run for it!
      Good Luck

  3. Diane referred to ‘Magpie May’ in her first leadership speech and urged her to ‘stop the faff, the fudge and the farce’ over Brexit. The only policy I want May to pinch from UKIP, the 100% Brexit party, is the ‘get out of the EU completely as quickly as possible by repealing the 1972 Communities Act’ policy. But although May could work on this strategy if she put enough pressure on her Tory Remainer MPs, I doubt she’s going to. If I hear one more report from every Boris, Schultz and Juncker about when T May is going to trigger Brexit, I think I’ll scream. I want to hear it from HER, and soon.

    I, too, am getting increasingly sick of Remainiacs who claim to know what 17.5m people voted for when they put their cross in the ‘Leave’ box on the ballot paper. Some Labour idiots insisted they voted against Tory cuts, and now we have George Osborne insisting that they didn’t vote for hard Brexit and were naive if they thought they did.
    Isn’t it hilarious how these failed politicians can apparently read the most private thoughts that were going through people’s minds as they stood in the polling booth: “I am voting Leave but I don’t actually want the UK to leave the EU, this vote is really about Tory cuts.” Or “I’m glad there isn’t a box that says “Hard Brexit” because I think it would be really naive to hope for that if we still have a Tory Prime Minister who has voted ‘Remain’.” I have more contempt for Osborne now than I had when he was spouting rubbish about financial collapse during the Referendum campaign, and that’s saying something. At least Cameron has gone away relatively quietly and is keeping schtum about what people meant when they voted, instead of continuing to insult our intelligence, AND our right to vote for what we want and get it.

  4. I am afraid I am presently not a happy bunny. Why, because I want to see some action now, so far it has just been words and that my friends is not enough.

    I know we can say it is early days for a new leader but we just don’t have the time. There are disillusioned Labour supporters out there just looking for a party to represent them.

    We will not be that party if we do not move and act now, that means radical changes and appointments which we were promised and how about some new policies as well.

    Where are they? Who are they? The only contact I have received from our new leader has been a letter introducing herself (as if I did not know who she is!) asking me to donate money.

    I have now reached the stage where I want something in return for my time, effort and money and I am sure I am not alone in feeling this way. I don’t feel I am asking for much, just some clarity, guidance and dare I say it ‘leadership’.

    Next week I am going out leafleting for the upcoming council elections. most likely in strongly held labour seats, if people ask me what UKIP’s other policies are apart from Brexit which is obvious, what am I going to tell them? Have I missed something, someone please tell me, I suppose I could always make some up on the hoof!

    Come on Diane, don’t dither. Let’s get this show on the road otherwise we have lost this golden opportunity.

    • Dear Mickey, I agree this is a frustrating time for us Kippers, however not being told what to do has the advantage of not being told anything we don’t like! May I humbly suggest we keep our heads down and keep squirreling away.
      Nit-pick the party manifesto for things Labour voters will like that Labour can’t deliver. Climate change aka Global Warming might be a good place to start. No I’m not suggesting an hour long lecture on carbon dioxide.
      We need to sell the sizzle not the sausage. Jobs, Jobs, Jobs. Just think what deregulating the energy sector and removing all those interventionist subsidies will do. Fracking, coal, cheap electricity, with it cheap train fares, cheap gas, the return of the steel industry and heavy manufacturing, ship building, cheap fish and chips. All that lovely money to be saved when we’re in power and repeal the Climate Change Act. That should pull them away from Labour with no risk of them going over to Mrs. May’s crowd.
      If we keep on Kipping, maybe, just maybe, our leadership will realise they have something worth fighting for, something we have known all along!
      Good luck and Godspeed with the leafleting.

  5. Realistically, one should judge our politicians on their tracks record.
    Mrs.May was Home Secretary for some 6 years and, during that time, allowed a few million immigrants into the UK from the EU, AND elsewhere! We probably have over one and a half illegal immigrants and immigrants are still arriving at around 600,000 a year. Totally unsustainable. If Mrs. May is unable or not prepared to seize back full control of our borders, then our fishermen, farmers and exporters, cannot expect much from this government.

  6. “Mayphobia” indeed; simply not to be trusted.

  7. I’m sick of Remainers interpreting on our behalf what they thought we voted for. I think it encapsulates the whole problem that we have now in Britain going forward. Have you noticed that no true Leave Tory supporter is ever given airtime ? Mrs. May is unable or unwilling to give any positive message on Brexit. In fact, Brexit means Brexit is now a cross between a joke and a threat.
    As you rightly say, we were looking outwards, yet those who voted remain did so precisely because they seem unable to grasp that concept, and given that May herself voted, presumably, for Remain, she will never embrace it either, it was not part of her narrative.

    This is why I doubt May’s intention to deliver Brexit in any meaningful way.

    I am convinced that it suits Globalist leaders that Britain remains in this state of disarray for as long as possible, and Mrs. May will not step off the designated path – she has the enthusiastic support of many in her party, including, I think, Boris, who never intended to actually win the Referendum, just almost win it.
    However, you cannot face both ways for ever, and there may be mutterings from Leavers at the Tory party conference.

    I desperately hope that Diane can get UKIP functioning properly and firing on all cylinders as soon as possible – we still have time to regain,the initiative on true Brexit actually happening, which would be a springboard to our other policies being taken seriously.

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