Firstly, re-branding.  I say we go straight for the jugular with a go-get branding that will see us talked about in all the right places – I introduce our new name:

New United Kingdom and European Momentum party – NUKEM for short.

Our goal: get Europe out of the EU! There can be no success in Europe until the gravy-trains are shunted into the Sidings of Sublimation, and the Euro-bureaucrats are dispersed into their Diaspora of Delusion. By leading the resurgent democracies in Europe, we will sweep away the Supranational Soviet before an unstoppable tsunami of national awakening. Viva Europa!

Of course, this means leading by example, so today I outline how we will put the Great back into Britain.

Defence of the Realm, critical for our world standing and our survival as a nation, has been treasonably undermined. We will:

  • a) Abolish the over-stuffed MOD and institute separate procurement services individually responsible to each of our Armed Forces.
  • b) Restate the Forces brief: defend the UK from attack, maintain readiness to take the fight to our enemies in short order, and to mount relief operations worldwide to support friendly nations in distress.
  • c) Properly fund all Services from savings elsewhere.
  • d) Fully resource Immigration Control and apply our Asylum processes firmly but fairly. We cannot continue to accept innumerable immigrants – a moratorium to allow our country to recover its equilibrium and avoid civil unrest is essential.

Law and Order have been traduced by Political Correctness – NUKEM will restore British Justice to its rightful purpose, blind to everything except actual evidence and resolutely open to scrutiny by the public and reporting by the free press. Trials that threaten life-changing consequences will be tried by jury. Hearings in secret will be banned and national security upheld in the traditional way.

NUKEM will rein in the mega-projects in which Governments delight. HS2, Hinkley Point, Climate Change and Foreign Aid all exemplify the inexplicably-immune-from-cancellation-no-matter-how-obvious-the-impending-disaster.

All mega projects that exceed the course of a parliament will be put to a referendum, as will such projects still incomplete after five years.

Government will withdraw from those areas in which it has no need to be involved. QUANGOS, Regulators, and devolved Parliaments will go. The former are unaccountable, and all are pompous talking-shops that fail to improve anything that they touch.

Britain must provide a proper standard of living for all. Although in time the above measures may balance the Treasury’s books, I will bring forward fiscal and monetary measures to turbo-charge our Economy and lead the way in Europe.

So, to Tax. The current fantastical tax manual doesn’t need simplifying; it needs burning.

Successful reform demands that we establish the purpose for which we need tax:

  • a) Defence, Law and Order, Parliament, Diplomacy, Immigration, Tax Collection, Referendums and Elections, Health and Education, basic Welfare and Asylum, State Pensions, Interest on Borrowings.
  • b) ?

The howls of anguish from the usual suspects confirm I’m on the right track.

Now we can ditch the social meddling stuff. Counter-productive and incomprehensible taxes will be binned. Taxes on “beer and ‘baccy” will be retained as a higher VAT rate (I know when I’m beaten). Fuel duty will be phased out as a pointless imposition on haulage and everybody else.

We will unilaterally scrap import duties, reducing costs for consumers and businesses, encouraging inward investment, enabling huge savings in administration. Business activity, exports, gainful employment, profits and tax takings will flourish.

Which leaves?

  • a) VAT
  • b) Payroll
  • c) Distributed Profits (Dividends and Loan Interest)

These taxes will be revised to be simple, easy to collect, and difficult to avoid. All business transactions will be taxed; none will incur more than one tax, exemptions for small businesses will continue.

Payroll tax will replace Income Tax – no more personal tax assessments! The same revenue will be raised but the employer will not pretend that he pays it on behalf of the employee. Wages and salaries will be adjusted to remain unchanged at the point of payment – nobody will notice the difference. NI will be ditched or rolled into the Payroll Tax (whichever you choose to believe).

Loans are capital employed and interest will be taxed like dividends (ending the loan vs. profit scam beloved of global corporations). ISAs and SIPPs will be scrapped, along with Capital Gains Tax – savers will welcome this simplicity.

A flat rate across these remaining taxes will remove incentives to game the system by choosing to pay one tax over another. The needs of the nation for tax assessors, collectors, inspectors, and advisers will plummet – countless man-years will be freed for gainful activity.

Now for a NUKEM breakthroughvoluntary funding of Government expenditure! We will introduce crowd-funding schemes for hypothecated spending (audited by the NAO) on the NHS, the Services, the Arts, the Sciences, those in need, etc (thus helping to silence those who obsess that “Government” – i.e., someone else – must fund their pet priority).

Lastly, NUKEM will (eventually) reset our Central Bank.  To encourage investment in projects that offer best returns, the Bank of England must cease QE and normalise interest rates. This will prompt investors to re-purpose funds that currently prop up zombie organisations towards productive investments. The problem is that Government is the biggest Zombie and putting the screws on today would bankrupt the Government, pensions, and most likely the banks. Full normalisation will be held until Government Debt is reduced to a sensible hillock.

Life will be simplified. The sky will not fall in. The sun will shine still (except, traditionally, on UK Bank Holidays).

Failed politicians will obsess about imagined inequities and lost pork-barrel projects, but we just need to remember two things – they failed, and the nation has a simple comprehensible and robust tax system that doesn’t skew priorities.

“Too hard” you cry. But in truth “we have nothing to fear but fear itself” . . .