How did you get on our our UKIP Daily Grand Christmas Quiz?  Here are the answers.

ROUND 1: Metrication of Festive Booze etc.

  1. What is the original definition of a metre? One ten-millionth of the distance between the North Pole and the Equator. It’s embarrassing because for all their talk of a rational scientific system, they got the original calculation wrong!
  2. What is the current definition? The length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/299,792,458 second. It was based on Kryptonite for a while, but that definition has been superseded.
  3. I have a big measuring job. If I take four poles and form a chain to help me out, excluding my own, how many feet are there? 22. A Pole is 5.5 yards, or 16.5 feet, so 4 Poles is 22 yards, or 66 feet. A surveyor’s chain was used after Roger Bannister ran the four-minute mile, to check the racetrack was valid.
  4. Brits and Yanks disagree on a number of issues. How big is an American pint? 20% bigger than a UK pint. (Because the parent gallon measure is also bigger).
  5. How many gills in a gallon (British or American)? 32.

ROUND 2: EU Absurdities – valid all year round

  1. Which of the following has not been a EU folly? Duck Eggs.
  2. What is directive 80/181/EEC as gold plated by Francis Maude? Compulsory metrication by 2010, with no Imperial alternatives/ translations permissible. The EU held a press conference explaining this gold plating was a totally British folly, and not their fault.
  3. What types of incandescent light bulbs can still be legally supplied in the UK? “Shock resistant”, AFAIK. I welcome alternative/better answers in the comments.
  4. How did the EU stop banned beef on the bone entering the British food chain? Paint it green.
  5. On hearing about inspectors visiting EU farms in biohazard suits, Dr. Alan Sked, our founder, memorably quipped: “The EU is the only organisation to legislate for the harmonization of…” what?  Cow excrement. They had inspectors in biohazard suits checking the quality of bovine dung was up to scratch.

ROUND 3: Christmas in Literature:

  1. Who danced the night away at Old Fezziwig’s ball in his youth? Ebenezer Scrooge.
  2. Who took time-off from the “Shire” to fake “Letters from Father Christmas” to his children every year? J.R.R. Tolkien
  3. Who stole Christmas, as witnessed by: “Cindy-Lou Who”? The Grinch.
  4. Which Enid Blyton characters are spoofed arranging an Office Christmas Party? The Famous Five, as part of an Enid Blyton for Grown Ups series, e.g. “Five on Brexit Island”.
  5. Who turned a Christmas pudding into an adventure? Agatha Christie.

ROUND 4: Christmas Music

  1. In the ballet based on a Hoffman tale, who gave a nutcracker to Clara? Herr Drosselmayer.
  2. Handel’s Messiah is often sung at New Year, but what tradition associated with it did George II start? Standing up for the Hallelujah Chorus.
  3. What are the 6 parts of BWV 248 collectively better known as? J.S. Bach’s Christmas Oratorio.
  4. What did Hattie Jacques, Eric Sykes and Billy Cotton see Mummy doing at Christmas 1961? Kissing Santa Claus.
  5. The same song was Christmas No. 1 in 1984 and 2004. What was it? Band Aid’s Feed the World.

ROUND 5: James Bond

  1. In which Fleming novel does Bond have Christmas dinner with all the trimmings with M? On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.
  2. In which film does Peter O’Toole play the bagpipes as an instrument of torture? The first version of Casino Royale.
  3. Which of these Avengers stars has NOT appeared in a Bond film: Patrick McNee, Honor Blackman, Diana Rigg, Linda Thorson or Joanna Lumley? Linda Thorson. (McNee = A View to a Kill, Blackman = Goldfinger, Rigg & Lumley = O.H.M.S.S.).
  4. Which of the films did Michel Legrand score? Never Say Never Again.
  5. During the NEC electronic voting training, Nigel was a special guest candidate for favourite Bond. Who was the special guest candidate for best villain? Count Herman Achille Van Rompuy.

ROUND 6: Around the world

  1. What is the Swiss tradition of Silvester better known as? New Year.
  2. A former bishop of Nicaea, the subject of a Britten oratorio, is better known as? St. Nicholas.
  3. In which European country is it still legal for chimney sweeps to forcibly enter your premises? Germany, last time I checked, dating from the time of Goebbels. (Un swept chimneys are a fire hazard).
  4. Where do they serve deep-fried emperor moth caterpillars for Christmas lunch? South Africa.
  5. When do Orthodox Russians celebrate Christmas day? Jan 7th. Like the beer festival that used to start in October, it was affected by the Gregorian calendar change.

ROUND 7: Christmas in Space

  1. In which George Pal film is a Mars mission crew saved at Christmas by snow falling? Conquest of Space.
  2. Who were the first astronauts to spend Christmas in space, orbiting the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968? Frank Borman, Jim Lovell and Bill Anders in Apollo 8.
  3. In which Star Trek film does Jean-Luc Picard celebrate Christmas with his imaginary family? Generations.
  4. What is Kepler 22-b better known as since 2010? The Christmas Planet.
  5. On what is Professor David Hughes, a University of Sheffield astronomer, an expert? Star of Bethlehem theories.

ROUND 8: Christmas TV

  1. The Morecambe and Wise 1977 Christmas special does not hold the Christmas ratings record. Which show from the same year does? The Mike Yarwood Show.
  2. What connects, amongst others on Christmas day, Quentin Crisp, Jamie Oliver, Brendan Cox, Rev. Jesse Jackson and Brigitte Bardot since 1993? The Alternative Queen’s Christmas Message on Channel 4.
  3. Which notoriously ginger cook advised cutting up Christmas birds with garden secateurs (once sterilised), and said she used bread sauce only as a poultice? Fanny Craddock. (Part 1 here;  the quiz picture is from part 2 of the same episode.)
  4. The BBC adaptation of John Masefield’s “Box of Delights” featured music from a symphony by which British composer also known for his Handel spoof “Old Mother Hubbard”? Victor Hely-Hutchinson
  5. Which show made an “advent crown” from coat hangers, candles and tinsel every year? Blue Peter.

ROUND 9: Christmas and UKIP

  1. Which of the following has not been the subject of a UKIP Christmas Card? A smiling photo of the UKIP NEC with Nigel at Langan’s Brasserie after their end-of-year meeting.
  2. Who proposed (I heartily agree) a “Sanctity of Christmas Act”? Phillip Smith, of this parish.
  3. Why did Kipper Timothy Miller’s big Union Jack make the news in December 2014? He flew an upside down (distress signal) Union Jack with an urgent plea to Santa “for our country back”.
  4. Which UKIP leader wanted Article 50 declared on Christmas Day? Diane (Vi Coactus) James.
  5. Why did treasurer John Bickley make the news in relation to Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas”? His campaign van in the Oldham by-election was caught playing it.

ROUND 10: Review of 2017

  1. How many candidates were there on the ballot paper in the most recent leadership election? 7. (Bolton, Collins, Kurten, Powlesland, Rees-Evans, Waters, Whittle).
  2. What did a spokesman say our new logo was known as? Flossie.
  3. Odd one out: Reece Coombes, Nigel Farage, Paul Nuttall (x2), Henry Bolton, and Suzanne Evans? Nigel. He didn’t make Question Time as panellist or audience this year.
  4. Who died in December 2017, having in his time occupied offices below us and persuaded Joan Collins to support us? (VIZ magazine turned the story into a cartoon strip for The Spectator). Max Clifford.
  5. When did Nigel start his talk Radio show? Monday 9th January 2017.